If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize