Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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