he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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