it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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