I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
