Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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