How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Randomize
