my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
