kristin has been a bad kristin
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
