Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I intend to get homeless drunk
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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