just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize