I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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