I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
