i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
