Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
this boner is exhausting
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
