how do flat chested girls get laid?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
