I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You are the jesus of drinking
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
