i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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