my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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