Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize