yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
