Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
