if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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