I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize