if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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