Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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