just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
