So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
