I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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