Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
