There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
