after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
