I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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