i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
