i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
