Sponge bath it is.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
