we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
