yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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