i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
