all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
