Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
