ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
