his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
