You're so nebulous sometimes
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize