Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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