sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Randomize
