Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
