I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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