When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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