He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
