What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
false alarm, still single
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
