shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You're a waste of cheezeits
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
