She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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