we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
