I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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