Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
