So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
