Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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