capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
