did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
