The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
